


The End of All Things

by sinister_cipher



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1950s, Anal Sex, Angst, Blood, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dubious Consent, Experimental writing, F/M, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, Inspired by Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov, M/M, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Obsessive Behavior, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Sexual Content, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:20:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28863942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinister_cipher/pseuds/sinister_cipher
Summary: How can one be expected to deal with loss, in Roy Mustang's case, he clings. A violent obsession plagues him, destroying him slowly.
Relationships: Alphonse Elric/Edward Elric/Roy Mustang, Alphonse Elric/Roy Mustang, Edward Elric/Roy Mustang, Maes Hughes/Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang, Trisha Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 21
Kudos: 35





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to some peeps over on discord for helping brainstorm ideas and inspiring me to write this abomination.

Everything has a start and an end. In Roy's case, that start was a girl named Riza. They were young, Roy being 13, and Riza being 12, but they were in love. As much as they could be anyway, but it didn't matter whether it was real or not, Riza was the world to Roy. 

It didn't even matter if Riza would be seen as less desirable. Her short blonde hair and boyish looks had Roy in a trance. Most adults couldn't even tell Riza apart from other prepubescent boys. It normally lead to some strange looks or remarks, but it never bothered them. 

Roy and Riza would spend their days together. They were happy, sharing soft glances, and even softer kisses. It was all Roy could ever want. 

Then disaster struck. Riza had fallen ill, passing away young. Roy felt like his world had shattered, Riza was his world, he wasn't ready to let go of that world. Roy had loved Riza more than anything. 

As Roy grew up, he realised that his attraction to Riza's boyishness was due to his own sexuality and the fact he couldn't care about Riza's gender, she could have been a boy and Roy would have still loved him. Roy still did love Riza, and nothing would change that. Nothing could replace her. Nothing could replicate the joy of holding her hand, or running his hand through her soft blonde hair. 

When Roy finally graduated from college, he didn't know what to do with himself, or his degree. He figured joining the military wouldn't hurt. He was wrong. 

It was in the military where Roy would meet Maes, and for the first time Roy thought, maybe he didn't need to replace Riza. Maybe he could move on, be happy with someone else. The way his hazel-green eyes softened for Roy, it made Roy hopeful. Riza would always haunt the back of his mind though. 

Like all good things in Roy's life, it didn't last long. Another person Roy loved, gone. It happened in battle. Roy's ears were ringing, when he saw Maes' body, bloody, and his eyes had lost their light. The funeral was the hardest. 

The day after the funeral, Roy was discharged. The military had caught wind of his relationship with Maes being more than just friends or war buddies. Roy felt like everything was crashing down on him again. 

Roy had lost his world, his light. Two lovers, a stubborn blonde, and an optimist with the softest eyes Roy had ever seen, both taken from him. Roy had nothing left, and he swore to himself, if anything good came his way he would cling to it, he wouldn't allow anything to take any more from him. 

He could never replace those that he loved, but Roy was obsessed. He wanted them back in his life, he wanted to cling to them, to keep them with him. He saw them in every face he passed on the street, but nothing was ever right, there was always something off about it, about the people he passed. It made Roy sick. 

Maybe a change of scenery. Somewhere new. Maybe that could settle Roy's nerves. So he started looking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont have any sort of update schedule, so updates might be a bit of a mess. Also I will be updating the tags as I write, since I don't know everything that will be included just yet, I encourage you to re-read the tags with every update.


	2. A Change of Scenery

It didn't take Roy very long to find somewhere new. He headed south east, to a place called Resembool, it was quite the opposite of the city he lived in. A quiet country town, a change of pace. 

The place he had found to stay was a room being rented out by a woman named Trisha Elric. Apparently her husband had walked out on her, leaving her alone to raise two young boys, aged 14 and 13 respectively, by herself and she could use the extra help around the house, along with a bit of extra cash. This didn't bother Roy, a cheap place to stay was good enough for him, as long as he got quiet time to work on his potential position as a science teacher at the nearby university only a short train ride away, alongside his personal journal. His old degree was finally coming in handy. 

The train ride was uneventful, and once he had arrived he realised he probably should have planned for a cab to take him to the house. The walk from the station was long and mostly uphill, but Roy took his time, appreciating the landscape which was mostly filled with sheep farms. He waved to those that he passed, it's nice to make a good first impression. 

When he knocked on the door to the house it felt like the world was silent, but only for a moment. "Just a minute!" A woman's voice called out, followed by the sound of something heavy being placed down. Footsteps came close to the door, and a second pair of smaller footsteps seemed to scurry up the stairs. 

The door opened slowly to a smiling woman with long brown hair tied to the side. "You must be Roy Mustang. It's a pleasure to meet you." The woman Roy assumed to be Trisha Elric held out a hand for Roy to shake, which he did firmly. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you too Mrs. Elric." 

"Oh please just call me Trisha, there's no need to be so formal." There was a surprising amount of joy in her voice. "Edward, Alphonse, come down and meet Roy Mustang, he's the man that's going to be staying with us." 

As she called out, Roy glanced up the stairs, catching a glimpse of a young boy dashing into another room before coming back out again, dragging another boy behind him. The one being dragged didn't look like he wanted to be there, and he walked strangely, as if going down steps was a little difficult, it was probably because he was being dragged by the wrist. 

When they finally stood in front of him, Roy was able to get a better look at them both. The taller of the two had short dirty blond hair that sat neatly. He also had golden eyes with strong green undertones that were full of optimism. Roy felt his mouth go dry looking in them. The shorter of the two brothers looked uneven on his feet. He had longer, messier blond hair that went down just past his shoulders, and stubborn bright golden eyes. 

If Roy's heart had been a burning fire of passion, it would have been snuffed out long ago. That didn't stop Roy from trying to reignite himself, and seeing these two young boys in front of him. It was what he needed to catch the spark that reignited the fire within him. Roy felt alive again, and he'd do anything to cling to this feeling. This time nothing would take his passion away. 

Before anyone had the chance to say anything, Trisha sighed. "Edward, I told you, you need to brush your hair more often if you want to keep it so long." She rushed off down the hall, quickly returning with a hairbrush. 

She knelt down and began to softly brush Edward's hair while he grumbled. But his eyes were fixated on Roy, and Roy stared back. He felt vulnerable, the innocence in Edward's eyes pierced through him as if they say into the darkest depths of Roy. As if they could see Roy's deepest hidden desires. 

What Roy wanted was Edward, and Alphonse. He wanted their love. He knew it was wrong, they were so young and he was more than double their age, but he so desperately wanted to cling to them, hold them close and never let them leave. He'd have to fight it, he'd keep them at arm's length, just enough to feel their presence, but he couldn't go further than that no matter how much he wanted to. 

Trisha sighed again and handed the brush to Edward as she stood up. "This here is Edward," she gave him a pat on the head before turning her focus to the taller boy, "and this is Alphonse." She messed up Alphonse's hair slightly. 

"Nice to meet you Mister." Alphonse grinned up at Roy, and Roy felt weak. 

Trisha leaned in next to Roy's ear and began to whisper. "Edward is the older brother and gets sensitive when you mess it up." She warned Roy and he made a mental note not to accidentally imply Edward was younger. 

"I'll show you around, boys you run off and play." The two brothers ran out the back, almost as if they had anticipated her saying those exact words. 

The tour of the house was just like any other. He was shown the kitchen, the living area, the bathrooms, where his bedroom would be. His room was upstairs, located across the hall from the brother's shared room. It actually came as a surprise that the two brothers were okay with sharing a room at their age. 

Roy's room wasn't large, but it wasn't small either. The bed was underneath the windows with a side table on the right side. At the end of the bed was a dresser with drawers for Roy's clothes, the top of it was cushioned so that it doubled as a seat. There was a reading chair and a small bookshelf pressed against the opposite wall, and somewhere in between that, against the wall was a desk with drawers built in. Roy put his suitcases down and thanked Trisha for her hospitality before closing the door and beginning to unpack. 

There was one other room in the house that had caught Roy's interest. Trisha's ex-husband's study. He didn't even want to call it a study, it looked more like a one room library rather than a study and it contained books Roy had only heard of. He was told that he would be allowed to use it whenever he needed as long as he kept it tidy and returned everything to the right spot. 

Roy was only half way done unpacking his things when Trisha knocked on his door. "I brought you up some tea Mr. Mustang." 

"Please, you can call me Roy."


	3. New Routine

Two weeks went past with relatively no trouble, Roy even settled into a routine. He would wake up, get dressed, go and have breakfast with Trisha and the boys. After breakfast he would help Trisha clean up before settling into the living room and having short conversations with Trisha. Their conversations were mostly meaningless, but there were times where they would open up and share more about themselves. 

Roy spoke about his time in the military and his experiences at war, conveniently leaving out the details of his and Maes' relationship and the reason why he was discharged. Roy kept his guard up, watching her reactions carefully, making sure he didn't slip and reveal his true self to the innocent woman. He didn't enjoy talking about his past. 

Trisha was a lot more open to talking about herself than Roy was. Roy learnt about how she grew up in the area on a local sheep farm, how her husband, Van Hohenhiem, had left her when Edward was only 5, how her medical bills had locked her into debt. It was a lot for Roy to take in, but he listened carefully, never missing a word that came from her mouth. He grew to be friends with Trisha. 

There were times during their talk that Trisha would bring up her children, whenever this happened, Roy would subtly encourage her. He showed interest in the conversation, but was careful to hide his interest in the young Elric boys. He learnt trivial things about the boys, like how Edward hated milk so to make up for it, Trisha would always make her cooking creamier, or how Alphonse had a habit of bringing the neighbours farm cat inside. It was the little things that made Roy smile. 

After his small conversations with Trisha Elric, at 10am Roy would go to his room and begin working on whatever he was working on at the time. Right now it was struggling with getting the neighbouring town's university to hire him. The dean of the university didn't want someone like Roy working there, at least that's what the last letter they sent him said. 

Roy knew what it meant, he knew his little secret was still his. If Trisha didn't know, then no one outside of the household would know either. It referred to his discharge, Roy couldn't see why it mattered so much. He had a brilliant mind and endless potential, he just needed to be given a chance. 

Lunch time was normally anywhere between 12:30 and 1pm. Roy would make himself lunch, and if Trisha was busy and hadn't gotten a chance to make the boys anything to eat, he would make enough to feed them too. The first week consisted of nothing but sandwiches, until Trisha caught onto the fact that Roy didn't know how to cook and offered to teach him. He still wasn't great, and continued to make sandwiches for himself but would help out more and more preparing dinners. 

Before that though, after he ate, he would spend an hour in Hohenhiem's study, reading whatever wasn't on the bookshelf in his room. He normally didn't finish anything, bookmarking pages with scraps of paper to read for later. When he was finished there he would head back upstairs to his work until dinner time. Dinner was always at 6:30pm. Most days Roy would help Trisha cook while she taught him how to. 

The weeks didn't pass without fault though, glances were stolen. Roy would catch himself staring at the boys for far too long, only hoping Trisha hadn't noticed or saw the deep affection his eyes must have conveyed. Roy's instincts betrayed him sometimes, brushing over their skin softly when he helped them with things. Roy dreamed of holding them tight. He did his best to keep up the act though, if Trisha found out, he'd be done for. 

The weekend was the hardest, sure the brothers were home all day, almost every day, it was summer, they were on their break. But on the weekdays, Roy had work to do, he could pry his mind and himself away from the boys and the thoughts they brought. The weekends however, Roy had no work to do, and he usually watched over them, or even talked to them, he couldn't help himself, he wanted them so badly. 

It was a Wednesday night, they were all eating dinner when they ran out of things to talk about and the table got quiet. It's when Edward spoke up. 

Roy wasn't dumb, he had noticed how Edward had taken a strange interest in him over the few weeks they had known each other. Even though Edward didn't speak to Roy much, Roy saw the way the boy looked at him. Edward played close attention to Roy when he was around. He noticed the way Edward's voice would soften when speaking to him compared to when he spoke to his brother, or even his mother. It made it harder for Roy to keep his mask. 

So what came from the boy's mouth with a harsh tone, surprised Roy. "I don't want a new dad." 

"Brother!" Alphonse exclaimed, almost as if it was an instinctual reaction. 

"Roy's not going to be your new dad, Edward. He's only just living here." Trisha sighed and tried to calm the situation down. 

"You shouldn't be so rude, brother." 

"I don't care what people think of me!" Edward snapped back, it felt like a kick to Roy's gut and he hadn't even said anything. 

The fire inside Roy roared as those words were spoken. He could almost hear it perfectly echoed in Riza's sweet voice. When she had said it to Roy though, she was a lot more calm. Edward however had a short temper. Sure Edward wasn't Riza, but Roy still couldn't help but feel incredibly drawn to the boy. How badly he wanted to run his fingers through his hair, just like he did so long ago. 

"Please boys, not at the table." Trisha once again tried to salvage the situation, this time it worked, both of them were quiet afterwards. No one knew that Edward's words had come from a place of jealousy, not even Roy though that was a possibility. 

The silence was worse than the argument for Roy's nerves. His thoughts began spiralling and he felt like he was slipping. It was dangerous for him to stay for long. He finished up his dinner quickly before excusing himself. He didn't say anything else, he just went to calm himself down in his room. 

Roy thought he was calm enough, he thought he managed to stop the thoughts from spinning. He thought he would be safe to go to sleep. His thoughts were the problem though, they were bubbling away, eating at him unconsciously. This manifested itself in the form of nightmares. 

It was 1am when Roy jolted awake, breathing heavily as if he'd been deprived of oxygen. His brain felt like it was melting, causing his ears to ring. The ringing was loud and all he could focus on were the faces of his loves, all he could think about was how much he missed Riza, and how much he missed Maes. How close to death he'd been on the battlefield, and how much he wished it claimed him rather than Maes. 

At least he still had a physical part of Maes. He hit at his side table until he felt the cool metal against his hand, he clutched the old dog tags tight. Roy didn't have anything to remember Riza by, and that hurt even more. 

He got out of bed slowly, not bothering to turn the light on as he made his way to his desk. Inside the bottom draw was a bottle of whiskey and a glass for nights like these. It was the only way Roy found was effective at numbing pain. He poured himself a glass, then a second, then a third, then he lost count. 

He didn't know what the time was, he didn't even register the fact that his tight grip on the dog tags was beginning to bruise his hand. He cried quietly to himself, hoping no one would hear. But someone did. 

Edward had been awake for similar reasons to Roy. When he heard movement from across the hall, he couldn't help but be curious, peering in the small crack of the slightly ajar door. When faced with the sight of Roy Mustang in tears, Edward didn't really know what to do, he just made an assumption based on how he would comfort his mother when she was sad. 

Edward stuck into the room, walking up to Roy before he even noticed, and he climbed into Roy's lap. Roy was shocked initially, but in the end he put his empty glass down and wrapped his arms around Edward. Edward was hugging him, this perfect boy was showing Roy affection. 

Holding onto Edward made Roy realise just how much his hand hurt. He slowly put the dog tags down on the desk, next to his abandoned glass. Roy moved slowly and shook, and Edward said nothing. Edward didn't need to say anything for Roy to feel comforted. 

Roy started to pet Edward's hair, it was just as soft as it looked, like golden silk. Edward let go for just a second to take his hair out if the messy braid it had been in all day, and allowed for Roy to brush through it with his fingers. They sat there in silence for a while, Roy stroking Edward's hair as Edward hugged him tight. 

Edward made the first move, leaning upwards just slightly enough to gently press his lips against Roy's. It wasn't much of a kiss, more like softly pressing their mouths against each other as what someone with no experience would assume kissing was like. It still made Roy smile and his heart burst. Roy moved his hands to get a better grip on Edward, pulling him up for a real kiss. It was like all of Roy's troubles melted away in Edward's embrace. 

It felt like an eternity had passed while they were locked onto each other, when they finally pulled away, Roy broke the silence. "What are you doing awake at this hour." Roy's grip on reality was strengthening, he paid closer attention to Edward, holding every part of him. Something about his leg felt wrong, but Roy didn't question him, it was his secret to share in time. 

"Nightmares." Edward mumbled, as if he was internally debating weather it was safe to be  
vulnerable with Roy. The part of him that allowed him to feel vulnerable was winning. "Why are you awake." The familiar snappiness of the child made Roy smile. 

"The same reason," Edward was important to Roy. Roy cared about Edward more than he should have, Roy loved Edward. "You can stay in my bed with me tonight if it'll help you sleep." 

Before Edward had even finished nodding, Roy had lifted him up and carried him into bed, placing him on the left side. Roy put his abandoned glass and the dog tags in his desk draw before crawling into bed next to the young boy. 

Edward curled up, cuddling into Roy's chest. He mumbled something that made Roy's world light up around him. 

"I love you Roy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I have prepared, so updates will most likely get slower after this.


	4. The Day Alone

That night Roy slept peacefully, no nightmares dared to cross his mind. No thoughts of those he's lost. Only the blissful feeling of having who he loved now wrapped up in his arms. It really was peaceful. Maybe things couldn't hurt him here. 

When he woke, the night before felt like a dream. Edward's soft and small body clung to Roy, it made him smile. He couldn't help but begin to stroke the boy's long hair, enjoying the moment while he could. 

Unfortunately his daydreams were interrupted by a soft knocking on his door. "Just a minute." He tried his best to speak softly, loud enough for the intruder to hear him but not too loud that he woke up the sleeping boy. 

He gently pried himself away from the sleeping boy and changed into something more suitable than pyjamas. He threw on the first shirt and pair of pants he could find, which just so happened to be the ones he was wearing yesterday. He didn't think to fix his hair before opening the door, making it obvious to any onlooker that he had just woken up. Despite this he still presented himself with his signature charming smile. 

The person who had knocked on Roy's door was the obvious culprit, Trisha stood in front of him, with Alphonse standing just behind her, still in his sleepwear. "Have you seen Edward?" Her voice was soft and full of concern. 

"Ah, he was having nightmares last night and didn't want to wake you, so he came to sleep with me." Sure, Roy wasn't lying but he was certainly hiding the whole truth from Trisha. 

She smiled softly, the concern melting away from her. "Oh, I'm sorry if he bothered you. I'm glad to know he trusts you though." Edward trusted Roy, his face tingled remembering their kiss. 

"It's really no," as Roy began to speak again, he felt Edward maneuver around his legs to be standing in front of him. 

Trisha looked momentarily shocked before leaning down. "You've grown Edward, we'll have to take you to Pinako's." She was careful with her words, avoiding the real subject matter. Roy knew something was being hidden from him. Edward simply nodded. "I'll go call her now." 

And so Trisha had left Roy alone with the boys. If it weren't for the fact they were watching him still he would have smirked to himself. Trisha trusted him enough to be alone with her children, the unknown object's of Roy's desires. It was too perfect. 

"You two should go get dressed for the day." Roy was almost a little bit desperate to get some privacy. He kept his voice calm but his mask was starting to slip. He could feel it, the way Edward kissed him last night. His taste lingered on Roy's lips. Roy needed more. 

Both boys ran off and Roy got some privacy. Somewhere he could let the mask slip right off and let himself feel safe. He needed to be careful, he couldn't do anything to the boys while Trisha was home, that would be too risky. 

Roy's time alone was cut short, once again by Trisha Elric, this time she was calling out to him from downstairs. Roy put a little bit more effort into making himself presentable, making sure he didn't look like he had just been pleasuring himself to the thought of her children. 

She looked more than a little panicked when Roy made it down the stairs, standing at the front door, hands holding onto each boy. Edward to her right and Alphonse to her left. "I'm so sorry to ask this of you Roy, I know you have to work today but I need to take Edward out somewhere important and today is the best day to do it. Would you be able to take care of Alphonse while I'm away." 

Suddenly her panic made a lot of sense to Roy, he even looked shocked for a moment. Sure he had moments alone with the boys, but there had never been a time where he was alone with either of them while Trisha was not home. He swallowed dryly, surely she couldn't see past him for who he was. Not yet at least. Yeah, she was asking a lot of him, she was probably more worried about how she was asking him to ignore a day's worth of work and double his work load on Friday. It had to be that. 

"Of course, it's not a problem at all." He smiled as he spoke, putting on as much charm as he could build up, still frustrated and worried. 

"Thank you so much Roy, I'll make it up to you." Trisha sighed in relief, opening the door and walking out with Edward. Roy was left alone with Alphonse for presumably the whole day. Suddenly things felt awkward. 

Roy held out, stopping himself from acting on his urges, he never knew when Trisha would come back. It was destroying his nerves all day. It was just after lunch time and Roy couldn't hold himself back any longer. He needed Alphonse, he wanted to chase that high that kissing Edward had given him. 

They were in the living room. Alphonse was sketching something in a notebook and Roy was reading a book about sheep farming for beginners. The book wasn't interesting for Roy, he just needed something to numb his mind. Roy was the one to break the silence. 

"So, why didn't you go with your brother? You two seemed inseparable." 

Alphonse looked up with wide eyes and smiled. "Ed doesn't like to see me worried." 

"What would you be worried about? Wouldn't you be more worried not knowing." 

Alphonse shook his head and hesitated to speak. "I shouldn't talk about it, Ed doesn't like people knowing." 

Roy stood up, making his way across the room and kneeling down in front of Alphonse, looking in his eyes. "I can keep a secret." His signature smile plastered on his face. Many people had a hard time saying no to Roy when he pulled out his charm. 

"Well," the hesitation was clear in Alphonse's voice, "Edward lost his leg in a car accident. It's why we don't have one. And when he grows he needs to go get a new leg and when they change it it hurts him. Ed doesn't want me there because last time I cried." 

Roy held out his hand, gently holding Alphonse's own. "Thank you for telling me Alphonse." It made sense now, the hardness and weight he could feel when holding Edward was because he used a prosthetic. 

"Brother worries that people won't like him if they know." 

Roy stroked his thumb over the back of Alphonse's hand as a gesture of comfort. "Nothing is ever going to change my opinion on Edward, or you." His words made Alphonse smile and he felt like he could feel his heart explode into flames. "Can I show you a secret Alphonse?" 

Alphonse nodded slowly, giving Roy exactly what he wanted. He picked up Alphonse and sat down with the boy in his lap. "You can't tell anyone okay, I want to make you feel good." 

Alphonse nodded, slower this time as Roy began to fiddle with the boy's pants, undoing them and pushing them down just enough for Roy to slip his hand in. 

Alphonse shook slightly at Roy's touch, Roy used his spare hand to hold Alphonse's in hope to comfort him. "It'll be okay." He whispered, running his hand back and forth over the boy's soft cock. 

Roy continued the motion slowly, waiting for the boy to get semi-erect before he grasped his cock and began to stroke slowly. Alphonse's skin was soft, untouched. It was a large contrast to Roy's calloused hands. Roy did his best to be gentle, he didn't want to scare or hurt the boy. 

Alphonse began to moan softly as pleasure overtook his senses. It felt like music to Roy's ears, an indication that Alphonse wanted more. Soon Alphonse's shaking was not because of fear or confusion with the new situation, but because he craved more, he couldn't hold back. He began to squirm in time with Roy's movements. 

Roy moved his hand quicker, giving the boy what he wanted. Things didn't last long, Alphonse had never felt something like this before, he couldn't take much before it was overstimulated. This didn't disappoint Roy however, he was happy that he made Alphonse cum so quickly. He was happy with himself, letting out his urges and making Alphonse happy, he was also glad that they finished up quickly and avoided getting caught. 

Roy licked his hand clean, the taste of Alphonse was almost enough to get him hard. Once his hand was clean enough to use he helped pull Alphonse's pants back up and whispered in his ear. "Good boy. Remember not to tell anyone, it's a secret." 

As those words were spoken, Alphonse's brain felt like it overloaded. Suddenly he didn't care about what his brother had told him late at night, he wanted Roy all to himself. He wanted Roy to praise him more, he wanted Roy to make him feel good. Alphonse nodded and hugged Roy tight, smiling into Roy's chest. Roy held the boy, and they stayed like that for a while. 

Roy and Alphonse had been playing a board game together in the living area before dinner, when the door unlocked itself and Trisha walked back inside with Edward. "We're home." She called out, causing Alphonse to abandon the game and go to hug his brother. 

Roy followed the boy, when he saw the pair, he instantly noticed how Edward looked more stable on his feet, and he was ever so slightly taller, closing the gap between both boys slowly. Roy smiled as he greeted them. 

They were happily oblivious to Roy and Alphonse's little secret.


	5. A Second Taste

Weeks had passed again with nothing. Roy was growing more and more frustrated. The taste of Edward and Alphonse still lingered on his lips. He needed more and it was getting harder to keep pretending he didn't. 

His hiding was still good enough, for now, Trisha was oblivious and the boys realised they needed to keep their actions secret. It was hard not to slip up sometimes, the boys would subtly flirt with him, sometimes while Trisha was around, thankfully she simply took it as them getting along with Roy. Roy found it hard to hold back however, he would have to force himself to respond in a way that he brushed off their advances. He wished he could respond to them with all the words that flew around his mind. 

Roy needed a way to let out all his pent up emotions he felt for the boys. He decided that when he couldn't find a way to be alone with them, the next best thing was his journal. It was risky, he needed to hide it better than he already had been, but that wasn't a problem for Roy. His suitcase had a lock on it, and he kept the key with him at all times. 

It was a Saturday, Trisha had taken her bike out to fetch groceries from town. Roy was alone with both boys, but he didn't dare make a move. He wanted them both but it was best they didn't know about the other's involvement. Not yet at least. The last thing Roy wanted to do was drive a wedge in the brother's own relationship, and he couldn't risk losing one of them. They were both precious, both perfect. 

He sat alone in his room, writing away, expelling all the thoughts from his head. He listened though, carefully, paying attention to the brother's footsteps around the house, their conversations, what they were doing. Roy had gotten used to listening to the family's footsteps, cautious about who was approaching his room, if he ever needed to rush and hide things. 

Trisha's footsteps were the lightest, you would never hear her coming if it weren't for the creek of the old stairs. The boy's footsteps were similar, if it weren't for the unnatural heaviness of Edward's left foot, no one would be able to tell them apart if you listened to their walking alone. It was safe to say Roy was paranoid, and for good reason. 

When Roy heard the front door open then close again, his first assumption was that Trisha had returned early. What he didn't expect was to hear Edward climb up the stairs and stand in the doorway to his room, opening the door without knocking. 

"Alphonse went for a walk. Something about the farm down the road getting a new cat." Roy was suddenly presented with new information. 

"Come in and close the door please." Roy kept a calm facade, keeping himself from pouncing on the boy. 

Edward did as Roy asked while Roy made his way over to the bed, sitting down and patting the spot next to him to indicate that Edward should sit with him. So Edward did, he pressed himself as close to Roy as he could without sitting on his lap. 

"I love you Edward," he pulled Edward's hair out of it's messy braid and began to run his hand through slowly. "I'm sorry I can't show you more often, but I'm sure you understand why." 

Edward nodded as Roy played with his hair. It was odd, under Roy's touch the usually angry and energetic boy seemed to melt into a puddle of calm. He felt safe with Roy. 

"I want to make you feel good Edward, will you let me." There was a slight hesitation before a quiet 'yes' left Edward's lips. 

Roy wanted the boy so badly, but he needed to go slow, build up to more intense activities. He moved to kneel down in front of Edward, resting his hands at the top of Edward's pants. He felt Edward flinch. 

"It's okay. You're safe with me. I love you." Roy reassured him as he slowly slid Edward's pants down and around his ankles. 

It would be the first time that Roy saw Edward's leg. It was a little strange, and looked surprisingly complex, but it was hard to have expectations for a topic he knew nothing about. In some way, Roy had expected it to look more like a real leg, in reality it was more mechanical. 

There were two parts to Edward's leg. First was the actual leg itself that looked detachable, he even had toes. The second part was a port that sat just above where his knee should have been, it made it so that the leg itself was detachable. There was noticeable scaring around where the port met flesh. Alphonse had mentioned how it hurt for Edward to get a replacement, Roy assumed this meant that removing and reattaching the leg must have disturbed the nerves that were left in the stump underneath the port. 

Roy didn't let the leg bother him, he kept a loving look in his eyes and a smile on his face as he began to kiss gently along the edge of the metal. Leg or no leg, Edward was still Edward, and Edward was perfect in Roy's eyes. 

Edward squirmed a little under the new feeling. He never let anyone even see his leg, he certainly hadn't been touched like this before. It was uncomfortable at first but it soon became good. It felt warm and nice, having Roy so close and intimate. 

Roy trailed kisses up the boy's leg until he reached Edward's crotch. Edward knew that touching his dick felt good, he'd experimented with touching himself in the bathroom and while Alphonse was out. He'd never had a warm mouth cover him completely before. 

Roy's mouth felt heavenly as he licked around Edward's shaft slowly. Roy was gentle, making sure the boy was enjoying himself every step of the way. He wanted to make Edward feel good, he didn't want to risk scaring the boy away. Roy was going to hold on tight to Edward. 

Edward was moaning louder than he realised, it made it hard for Roy to hear any movement downstairs. He had to be quick, he couldn't risk being caught like this. There was no way he'd be able to talk himself out of having his mouth around Edward Elric's cock. 

Roy sped up slightly, moving his head more and focusing on sucking rather than using his tongue. He was determined to make Edward cum, no matter how loud the boy was. 

He was a little surprised when Edward began to grip his hair, he must have been close. The pleasure was all so new to Edward, he could help himself, he was loud and messy when he came, pulling at Roy's hair a bit. 

Roy didn't mind, he smiled as he licked Edward clean and lifted his head away. 

"You're beautiful, Edward." He reached out his arm to caress the boy's cheek. 

Roy had gotten a taste of both boys now. It drove him crazy, like a high he needed to chase. Like any other drug, there were risks, Roy needed to be careful that this flame did not get out of his control.


	6. Two Boys, Two Loves

It felt like the taste of Edward and Alphonse lingered on Roy's lips the entire time he was forced to wait. Forced to stay hidden, keep to himself. Every Time he saw their faces he could help but imagine them on his lips once again. 

It didn't help that the boys would still flirt with him. Things were frustrating to say the least, Trisha left the house less and less it seemed. Not to mention summer was almost over, soon enough the boys would have to return to school and Roy would have even less of a chance to be with them, even less time to spend with them. Had it really been almost 3 months since he joined the Elrics. It was getting harder to keep track of time. 

The only moments of time that mattered anymore were the times when Roy could be himself with the boys. Those moments were rare, but tonight he would risk himself for one of those moments. 

Trisha was asleep and Alphonse was in Roy's room, that fact alone made Roy's heart race. Roy knew he couldn't do anything to Alphonse, from his times with both boys he knew they would be too noisy, there was too much of a risk of either Edward or Trisha waking up from the noise. Roy knew how to control his volume though. Tonight Alphonse would be pleasuring Roy. 

Roy felt a little awkward explaining what the boy should do to him and how he should use his mouth. It didn't help that he had to be quiet to not wake up Edward or Trisha. Teaching the boy was the hardest part, but once they started things were good. 

Things were too good, Roy allowed himself to get lost in the pleasure, his focus on Alphonse. Of course he made sure to not let his voice get too loud, he held back his moans effectively. He wished he could have been loud though, he wanted to praise the boy as much as possible. 

He ran his hand through Alphonse's hair, the boy struggled to fit Roy in his mouth. It was cute, how small Alphonse's mouth was, only covering just under half of his cock. He didn't pressure the boy to take any more than he was comfortable. 

There were two ways Roy could see this going wrong. One way was objectively worse than the other. The other involved Edward finding out that Roy had been fooling around with the both of them, Roy was more than a little bit more prepared to deal with this scenario. It wasn't ideal, but much better than the sudden creek of Roy's door belonging to Trisha. There was no way that he could talk himself out of having her underage son's mouth around his cock. 

He almost sighed in relief when he saw Edward walk through the door sleepily. 

"I had nightmares again and can't find Al." He spoke before his brain gave him a chance to evaluate the situation. 

The whole scene was awkward and felt like it came from a bad, cheesy porno. Alphonse was still attached to Roy's dick, eyes wide and unsure what to do with himself. He'd just been caught giving a blow job by his brother who was looking for him. Roy had to shake himself out of his shocked expression, wanting to pull up his pants to bring the boy over to his bed and comfort him, he was a little bit stuck with the other boy still on him. 

If this had been a cheesy porno Edward would have said something along the lines of _'got room for one more' _. But that wasn't the case, this wasn't a cheesy porn film, this was Roy's life, and it was awfully messy. Edward said nothing, choosing to stare in silence.__

__Roy cleared his throat and pushed Alphonse's shoulders slightly as a signal for him to move away. "Edward, would you come sit over here please, I'd like to talk with you both." He put his dick back in his pants when Alphonse moved up next to him on the bed. He was still hard but would have to deal with it for now._ _

__Edward hesitated for a moment, and Roy felt his heart quicken. He couldn't lose Edward, he loved both boys and he didn't want to ever let go of them. It was probably best they both knew about each other's involvement, they just needed to give Roy a chance to explain. He could tell Alphonse was also getting nervous by his side._ _

__Despite his hesitation, Edward sat down next to Roy, cuddling into his side so much he was almost in Roy's lap. He was jealous, anyone could see that. Edward wanted Roy's attention. It made Roy smile for a moment, before his mind reminded him of the possibility of losing either of the boys._ _

__"I love you both," he started. He was nervous but he didn't let it show through his voice. Not that it mattered much, both boys could probably feel his nervousness as they curled up to his sides. "I love you both and want you both in my life."_ _

__He paused, giving the boys a moment to voice their opinions, but when neither of them stirred, he spoke up again. "I want to keep you both by my side, are you both okay with that."_ _

__Now was the time for Roy's nerves to reach their peak. If either of them said no, not only would he be devastated, losing one of his loves, but it meant that they would know about his relationship with the other. They would be in a position to expose him. It was dangerous to have this talk, but it was only fair they knew about the other's involvement._ _

__"I love you Roy." Edward was the first to speak up after a silence that felt like it dragged on for far too long._ _

__"I love you too Edward, are you okay with me loving Alphonse as well?" He asked softly, resting his hand on the top of Edward's hair. The boy was so soft under him. The fire in his heart flickered._ _

__Edward nodded slowly. "I want to be with you." He mumbled._ _

__"Alphonse, are you okay with this?" Roy turned his attention to the other boy, resting his other hand on top of his head. Alphonse's hair was a little bit rougher than Ed's but Roy loved the sensation all the same._ _

__Alphonse hesitated more than Edward had, shifting around slightly. "If brother is happy, then I'm okay with it."_ _

__Roy sighed with relief, he wasn't going to lose these boys. No matter what happened he would hold on to them as tight as he could. He kissed them both on the forehead. "I love you both. Remember this is just our secret."_ _


	7. Confessions

The summer had long since passed and the Elric boys were once again attending school in town. Of course Roy was feeling down due to that fact. The boys were no longer there during the days, unable to entertain him while he worked, and Trisha rarely went out in the evening. There were much less opportunities for Roy to spend time with the boys alone, in fact it almost never happened at all. 

Roy was observant, he noticed the details of everyone's individual outings. He needed to be observant to be cautious, waiting for those times where he could finally have the boys to himself. He began to notice something, something was off with Trisha, she would leave more frequently without a word. It was like she was hiding something, her smile just about confirmed it. 

Trisha used to have a bright, and honestly beautiful smile, now it was simply a cover up, hiding her true feelings. It was even more obvious to Roy, that she was hiding something from the boys. When they were alone in the house, she wouldn't bother to act cheery, she would always be off. Around the boys was different though, she put on an act, appearing to be happy as always around them. 

Roy had tried to bring up the topic a few times, but she always brushed him off or changed the topic quickly. Despite the trust they had built up over the past 6 months, Trisha wouldn't budge on the details of whatever this was. It was strange, Trisha had previously been so open with Roy, to suddenly shut herself away was odd, it confused Roy. 

Roy didn't like being confused, because it always led to anxiety. He was worried, what if she'd found out his secret. What if she was scared to confront him knowing he used to be a soldier, what if she was quietly putting something together as a way to remove Roy from her boy's lives. If she found out, it would mean the end for him. 

Roy was about to get the answers to his worries. 

He paused what he was doing when he heard the door creek open slowly. It was just past midday on a Tuesday, so he knew it was Trisha. He paid close attention to her footsteps, they'd gotten heavier over the past month, like she no longer cared about how she walked or presented herself around Roy. He could tell she was in the living room when she called out to him. 

"Roy, if you're not busy, I need to talk with you." Her voice was soft, not angry or confrontational. Roy worried about what she needed to speak with him about. 

When he made it down to the living room she gestured for him to take a seat next to her on the couch. "I hope I haven't interrupted anything important." She smiled, but it was weak. 

"Not at all, I was going to take a break soon anyway." Roy tried to dismiss her concerns, but she seemed to talk before even trying to process Roy's words. 

"Look, Roy, I can't keep doing this, you probably already noticed something up," she took a deep sigh, "I love you Roy Mustang, and I can't keep living in the same space as you if you don't feel the same. It's too devastating." 

Was this really what had been bothering her for the past few weeks, had this been the reason she left so often. It baffled Roy, he couldn't understand it, why would she want to distance herself if she held such strong feelings. If she loved him, why didn't she feel the strong pull that drew her into him, the same way he was drawn into the boys he loved. Shouldn't it be painful to be without one's love. Roy couldn't see that his love for Edward and Alphonse was much different from how Trisha, or most other people experienced love. 

"I..." Roy hesitated, unsure what to say, then it hit him. The weight behind her words felt like something was crushing him. If Roy refused or denied Trisha's confession, then there was a very real risk that Trisha would no longer want to live with him around. If he couldn't live with Trisha, he would lose access to the boys. Storm clouds began to brew over Roy's burning heart. 

"I've felt a connection between us." Roy forced himself to lie, reaching for Trisha's hand to hold to make it more convincing. He couldn't lose his boys, he couldn't lose his loves, the ones who kept Roy ablaze. 

"Marry me." Her words were sharp and shocked Roy. She could probably feel him tense up, which is why she continued. 

"I know the boys like you a lot and they seem happy around you, I'm sure they'd be fine with having you as a dad, and," another sigh escaped her lips, "I know Edward can be difficult but I know he'd accept the idea." 

Roy didn't love Trisha, that was certain, but he still appreciated her friendship, when she wasn't getting in the way of his desires that was. Trisha was a lovely person and easy to talk to. Something that Roy appreciated about her was how she was always thinking about her boys first, making them her priority. She must have been a good mother to them. Roy knew this would be his downfall if he wasn't cautious, but that didn't mean he couldn't admire her dedication to raising such perfect boys for him to devour. 

"Trisha," he squeezed her hand. "I'm happy to be with you, but I'm not sure that's such a good idea." 

It wasn't a good idea for multiple reasons, all of which led back to his relationship with her sons. It wasn't a good idea because Roy didn't love her, he wasn't even happy to be with her, that was a lie. Roy loved Edward and Alphonse but not Trisha. Trisha was just a friend, but even then Roy only saw her as a friend when she wasn't getting in the way of his relationship, then she was a pain. 

But then Roy thought about the possibility of losing the boys forever. He still didn't like the idea but he needed those boys in his life. Maybe it wasn't all that bad, it would keep the boys in his life, and to any outsiders, they'd have no way of knowing who Roy was or what his secret relationships were. They'd simply see a woman's husband. 

Roy's thoughts were interrupted when Trisha suddenly grasped at the front of his shirt. Her grip was weak, barely enough to force Roy to look at her. 

"I know it's a bad idea, but, I'm running out of options," her gaze wandered away, down to the floor. "I'm sick Roy, and I'm only going to get worse. You make the boys happy, and being around you is too much. I'm in love with you Roy, all I want now is to be with you." She looked him in the eye once again with a weak smile. 

Roy took a deep breath he could blame on his nerves. It was normal to be nervous in this sort of situation. He put on his charm and began to act, brushing his hand against Trisha's cheek, moving away some of her hair. This was going to be difficult for him to explain to the boys, but he needed to keep them in his life. Roy was desperate. 

"I'll marry you, Trisha."


	8. Darkness In New Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to everyone who's commented and encouraged me.

Explaining his marriage to his boys was difficult. The worst part was when Trisha took the lead to announce it over dinner without warning. It even took Roy by surprise. 

Their reactions were expected. Alphonse was visibly confused but didn't say anything on the matter. Edward was much more vocal about his disappointment. He didn't say anything that could incriminate Roy but he made it clear he didn't want them to be married. 

It was difficult because Roy didn't get a chance to explain the situation to the boys first. They clearly didn't want Roy to leave and he didn't want to abandon them, and his only options would have been either to leave or marry Trisha. 

That night Roy slept in his room, despite Trisha insisting they sleep together. Roy used the excuse of waiting until after they were married. He mainly wanted this night alone so that he could sneak into the brother's room after Trisha had fallen asleep so he could explain things to him. 

Edward was hesitant to hear Roy's explanation, he felt betrayed after all. Alphonse was more forgiving, having assumed that there would be a reason behind it. Edward always jumped to conclusions, he was impulsive and it excited Roy, while Alphonse was much softer, that made Roy feel calm. These boys were everything to him, he didn't want to lose them ever. He comforted them, reminding them that what he was doing was so that he could stay with them and that he only loved them. Roy did love them. 

The wedding itself was small, and awkward. Roy felt nervous the whole time, despite the small numbers, there were so many eyes on him, he didn't know who could see into his darkness. He didn't love Trisha and didn't want to be doing this, and the worst part is he didn't know who else could see that kart of him. 

Out of the 20 or so guests, most were Trisha's friends, the exception being a few people Roy had met in the military and had kept, somewhat in contact with. One thing he took notice of was the lack of family there. Of course Roy knew the reason his family wasn't invited, he no longer kept in contact with what remained of his family, besides his aunt wasn't the type of person you'd typically invite to a formal event. However, Roy was curious about the lack of Trisha's family. 

Trisha was sick, Roy knew this and hoped that it meant he would only need to act as the good, charming husband for a few months. It felt wrong to hope someone died soon, but Roy wanted to be alone with his boys, he didn't want to have to act for Trisha so he didn't get kicked out of their lives. The lack of family meant that when Trisha did pass, he wouldn't need to deal with anyone pestering him about taking care of the boys. They would be all his. Roy looked forward to the day he could drown himself in them. 

So Roy acted, he put on his charm and played the role of a loving husband, hoping his performance didn't need to carry on longer than necessary. The worst part about this act was the fact he could no longer sneak the boys into his room at night and spend time with them. His old bedroom was now just his office and he slept in Trisha's room. The nights where he had nightmares were the worst, he couldn't have one of his loves comfort him, he couldn't even drown his thoughts away with a drink. Those nights he was forced to keep it internal as he lay in bed with a woman he didn't love. 

Trisha's condition slowly got worse over the course of a couple of months. Roy could see it, he wondered when she would tell the boys, surely they could also see the changes that occurred around them. 

Soon Trisha was no longer able to climb the stairs, she'd grown too weak. Roy was careful but the new information presented to him showed he no longer had any need to hide his secrets upstairs. Trisha wouldn't be able to find them even if they were laid out on his desk, she couldn't climb up there to see. 

Roy didn't see himself getting careless, he dropped his guard around her. 

It was a Wednesday evening and Roy was sitting in the living room with Trisha. He was writing things down, sat across the room from her with his back to the wall. What he was writing about that day wasn't anything awfully taboo, just random scribble and complaints about work. 

So when the phone rang suddenly, Roy wasn't thinking when he instinctively left the book on the table in order to answer the call. 

Trisha knew it was wrong to look through someone's things, but even she knew Roy was hiding something and she couldn't help but feel curious. What were his thoughts about her? What things did he secretly want to do with her in bed? Was he unfaithful with another girl he worked with? The possibilities began to race through Trisha's mind and she needed an answer. She knew she was sick and not likely to last, surely what Roy seemed to hide was a secret affair with someone more youthful. He was handsome, and strong, and an ex soldier on top of that, what was there not to love about Roy. 

Well, there were two things that would turn most away from the dashing Roy Mustang. First he engaged in homosexual behaviour, he wasn't gay and would describe himself more as bisexual, but this didn't change the fact that many people did not look kindly on those who were attracted to the same sex. It was the reason he was discharged after all, the view on queers was made clear. The second reason would make Trisha regret ever inviting Roy into her household. 

Roy didn't even know he did anything wrong, didn't realise his mistake until an angry voice suddenly filled the air. 

"Roy Mustang!" 

"I'll call you back," he said calmly into the receiver before putting the phone down. He realised what he'd done. He even heard the boy's rush out of their room to the top of the stairs to witness what was happening. 

"I can not believe you! You absolute freak!" Trisha was more than angry, and reasonably so. Apparently this anger had given her the sudden strength needed to storm right up to Roy and grab onto his shirt. 

Roy could see fire in her eyes, it burned right into his darkness, setting it alight and shining a light on it. He stared back as calmly as he could manage. Panicked or not, Roy was not one to hurt others or use violence on those who didn't deserve it, no matter how much he wanted to hit Trisha for snooping into his journal. 

"Trisha, you're delirious. I don't know what," he was cut off. 

"Don't try and gas light me Mustang, I know what I saw. I can't believe you would," Then Trisha was cut off, but by her own voice. She was coughing violently, her gip on Roy's shirt weakened until she collapsed in front of him. 

It was one of those rare moments where Roy was genuinely shocked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the half way point, at least from what I have planned. Who knows, I might come up with more ideas.


	9. Golden

Roy was cautious, he was prepared for a lot of scenarios. This was not one of them. 

He felt dizzy and suddenly he was seeing red. There was blood pooling around his feet. He gasped stepping back, he no longer saw Trisha. He couldn't see his reality, he only saw the faces of those who had fallen around him on the battlefield. Wounded, bleeding out, or already dead. 

It left Roy gasping for air, he needed to rush out to the bathroom and empty his guts. The sights and nightmares were too much to handle. 

Roy could barely pull himself out of the episode he was having. He wanted a drink, he wanted to drown out all the thoughts that plagued him. It was a curse. But he thought, Edward and Alphonse had just seen their mother collapse. 

Roy didn't love Trisha and being married to her made him think of her as more of a pain in his side. He definitely hated her now though, she knew him too well, too much, too close. Edward and Alphonse however, she was their mother. She had raised them and cared for them, of course they loved her. Of course they would be worried for her. 

He dragged himself out of the bathroom and to the scene. It hurt to look at. Edward and Alphonse were still at the top of the stairs, shocked and confused. 

The good person left inside Roy wanted to call a doctor, but that was far too risky. At this point, if Trisha got any chance to talk to anyone, Roy would be ruined. He needed to keep Trisha like this, weak, unable to talk or care for herself. Involving a doctor could ruin him. So he lifted Trisha up off the ground and carried her to her bed. 

Roy could feel that she was still breathing as he carried her, it was weak, but it was there. When he had placed her down he checked her pulse, also weak but she was still alive. She must have fainted after using too much energy. 

Roy couldn't let her regain strength, if she did, it would be all over. However, he couldn't bring himself to kill her. He'd seen enough bloodshed caused by his own hands, he couldn't kill again. He couldn't take the life of someone innocent, even if part of him wanted to justify it by saying Trisha wasn't innocent. 

He pushed those thoughts away, leaving Trisha alone in her room and choosing to comfort the boys, help them understand and feel better about the new situation. They must have been scared after all that happened. It wasn't just for them, it was for himself as well. Roy knew that being around them would help calm his mind and make him feel better, it always did. He loved them. 

He focused on explaining the situation and reasoning them. Everything would be okay, he loved them and would always be around for them. He wasn't going to leave them and he would take care of their mother. They were still worried even after all of Roy's comforts, the best he could do was hold them. 

Hours passed by and Roy hadn't heard anything from Trisha's room. He was starting to worry, he should have heard something by now. He was making a simple soup dinner, something he didn't need to focus on, he could step away if he needed. Roy had planned he might need to step away after hearing something from Trisha's room, but he didn't hear anything. 

He stepped away and slowly entered the room to check on her. She was alive, glaring at him as he entered. However she was still in bed, her movements were much slower than before. She had no more energy to move. 

"You sick pervert." Her voice was rough and weak, like it hurt to even make noise. This was where Roy needed her, unable to escape and unable to talk to anyone. No one would convict him of murder if she passed away in her bed from her illness. 

"I'll bring you some soup, I hope you have the strength to eat it." It was the first time Roy would speak to her without his artificial charm. His tone was sharp and mocking, like poison. It wouldn't be the last time Trisha heard that tone. 

It would become routine, Roy would have these one sided conversations with Trisha, opening himself up. He let his darkness fill the room until it held nothing but shadows. It felt good, having a space where he didn't need to hide, showing himself to someone. He didn't dare let those shadows infect the light outside that room, he wouldn't let himself taint his boys. He loved them too much to break them. 

Trisha couldn't stand this new version of Roy, it wasn't the Roy she had fallen in love with. The Roy she loved was soft, caring and charming, but that was all an act. Roy acted to gain her trust and worm himself into her family. Inviting Roy into her house was a mistake, but she couldn't do anything about it now. She was trapped to her own bed, unable to talk to anyone even if she could find her voice. All she could do was sleep and hope that the outcome changed the next time she woke. It never did of course, Roy had too much power over her. 

Roy wanted to push Trisha over the edge. He was almost addicted to the horrified look in Trisha's eyes that came as a result of their talks. He wanted to see how much his interactions with the boys would hurt her. 

The boys didn't spend much time with her, due to a mixture of confusion, fear and the fact that Roy had discouraged it. He always kept them informed about the new situation though. 

He sat down with them in the living room and held their hands to comfort them as he explained his idea. Of course they wouldn't know that Roy was only doing this to see the hate in Trisha's eyes. The fire in his heart was strong and craved fuel. 

"We should make sure that Trisha knows you're happy to be with me. She should know how much I love you and that you both love me." He held their hands, Edward in his right, Alphonse in his left. 

Edward liked to act like he was stronger than his circumstances, like everything around him didn't bother him. It's why he never liked to admit he had nightmares, and would pretend his leg didn't bother him. But it did, and this would be more than a little upsetting to him. He would never admit this though, and Roy knew that. 

Alphonse was different, he expressed more. Sure he still preferred to not show how things got to him, but he was much more willing to show his worry compared to Edward. Surprisingly both boys were okay with Roy's idea. 

Roy led them into the room, holding both their hands still. He was gentle with the boys around, choosing to speak softer than his normal taunts. 

"Hello Trisha, I'm sure you're worried about what will happen with the boys now that you can't take care of them. I want you to see that they'll be safe. I love them Trisha." 

He felt Edward squeezing his hand, it made him pause to smile at the boy. "You're allowed to say things too." He encouraged, taking his hand away for a second to ruffle the boy's hair. 

His words were addressed at Edward but Alphonse was the one to speak up. "Brother and I love Roy. He makes us happy." Alphonse was firm, but with a bit of worry in his voice. He was probably still worried from her initial anger when she discovered their relationship. 

It was sweet honestly, how Alphonse seemed to want to defend Roy. 

"I promise you the boys will be in good hands with me." 

Up until he met the Elric family, Roy could only see his hands as destroyers. He left a trail of misery behind him. But now he had his boys, he felt joy again and the nightmares were easier to deal with, with them. He would always make sure that they were loved and cared for, nothing would take these boys away from him. 

"I love Roy," it was Edward's turn to talk, and he spoke while his voice was a little quieter than Alphonse's; he was just as firm. It was typical Edward confidence. 

Roy knelt down to reach their heights, this was easier to do for Alphonse since he was taller than Edward. Alphonse had been growing recently too. 

He kissed Alphonse softly on the lips. He was sweet, tasting like sugar and cream. He intended to do the same with Edward, but Edward was needy and pulled Roy into a much deeper kiss. He closed his eyes for a moment. Edward also tasted sweet but in a more savoury way. 

Roy didn't move away, letting the young boy take the lead. If he wasn't connected to Edward's lips he would have grinned. Roy knew this would burn away at Trisha, leaving her scarred.


	10. Bitter-Sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half of this was written on a bus, but I'm obsessed with writing this, so here we go

Roy was growing more and more confident. He had no more worried inside the house he would soon own. Trisha couldn't do anything to fight back, she wasn't a worry, he could do anything he wanted with the boys and she was forced to stay where she was and do nothing about it. It no longer mattered if Roy or the boys were loud. 

Roy wanted Trisha to hear, he loved imagining the look on her face as she was forced to listen to all the disgusting fantasies she had read put into practice. Roy couldn't get enough of this power he had over her. 

He never pushed things too far, he was still cautious about pushing the boys over the edge. He needed them to love him, he needed them to want him, he couldn't risk anything that would push them away. 

He kept their sexual acts away from Trisha, but he always made sure she'd be able to hear them. She would hear her boys scream out Roy's name in pure blissful pleasure. 

Roy hadn't actually had sex with either boys yet. He went at a pace that they decided, even if he commonly liked to push them in the direction he wanted. He was subtle. Never letting them reach a point where they might be uncomfortable with Roy. 

Roy was happy. He had two perfect loves by his side. 

The winter was growing colder and darker by the second. Not just inside, snow would be arriving soon, just in time for Edward's birthday. 

Edward was having nightmares, but this time, instead of going to Roy like he normally would, he stuck downstairs. He wasn't sure why he was being so cautious, he knew Roy wouldn't punish him if he was caught, Roy was always kind to him. Even if he woke Roy up for any reason he never got mad or raised his voice. Roy only wanted the best for Edward and for him to feel good. 

But Edward found himself trying his best to be sneaky. 

He stuck downstairs and into Trisha's room. Without the lights on, it looked as if she was just sleeping, and Edward wouldn't have been able to notice her flinch. She hated whenever Roy came in to taunt her, but she quickly noticed the silhouette was much, much shorter than Roy's. She was able to calm herself knowing it was Edward, but she hated to think about what Roy had done to him. 

Trisha was never over protective, but she always worried about Edward much more than Alphonse. Ever since the accident, Edward had changed and Trisha saw that change in him, it worried her. She hadn't seen Edward express genuine happiness ever since that night. 

_Edward was excited, childlike joy shone in his eyes. It made Trisha smile. They had planned the surprise for a few weeks now and Edward had insisted on being there for every moment. Tomorrow would be Alphonse's 9th birthday._

_A farm across town had a cat that had recently given birth to a litter, Trisha knew how much Alphonse loved the cat that lived next door. Next door being a ten minute walk away. She wanted to get a cat for the household, she knew how much Alphonse would love it and it would be a good way to teach them both responsibility._

_Alphonse was already asleep, and Edward had managed to sneak out of their room, insisting that he come pick up the cat. Trisha couldn't say no._

_Edward sat in the seat next to his mother and they drove off into the night. It would be the last time Trisha ever stepped foot in a car._

_It happened in the middle of town, as Trisha went to turn around a corner. A drunk maniac came towards them, colliding with the side of their car, and into Edward._

_Edward had been lucky that only his leg had been severely crushed. He was lucky to have survived at all._

_He didn't have his prosthetic at first. Edward never expresses interest in getting one. It was actually Alphonse's convincing that led to him getting one._

__Trisha's happy boy was gone. Edward always looked dead in the eyes, like he was hollow inside. Even after he got his mobility back, he would still frequently have nightmares about that night._ _

__Trisha wasn't over protective, but she was reasonably worried about Edward's wellbeing. She felt like she'd already lost him._ _

__The idea that Roy Mustang was now manipulating someone so young and vulnerable. Trisha despised Roy and all the manipulation surrounding him._ _

__While distracted by her thoughts, and hatred for Roy, she almost didn't notice Edward climbing into the bed and sitting next to her. When he began to speak softly, Trisha would receive another shock, as if someone was electrocuting her this past few weeks._ _

__"Roy seems worried that you don't understand our relationship." He started quiet. Considering how late at night it was, it wasn't likely that this was some trick Roy had convinced Edward to pull. Roy would be asleep and unaware of the conversation taking place._ _

__"I love Roy, he makes us happy." He sighed and hesitated. "He cares about us and he loves me for who I am. He's not scared of my leg like everyone else."_ _

__Trisha didn't want to believe what she was hearing. Roy had manipulated them._ _

__"I love Roy, and he always makes sure we're happy. I'm happy." Edward wasn't looking at Trisha, but Trisha did her best to examine her son's face for any hint of a lie. Any hint that Edward was being pressured into saying these things._ _

__Trisha knew about all the sexual things that Roy forced her boys into. It had to be forced, there was no way he wasn't manipulating the scene._ _

__"He's always there for me when I have nightmares, he accepts me and comforts me. And he trusts me. Even from the start, he was there for me." Edward remembered his first night with Roy fondly. Roy had been so kind to him. He didn't notice himself smiling._ _

__Trisha could barely see Edward's features but she did her best. She focused on his eyes for a moment, and that's where she received the shock. A light that had faded away from Edward years ago, Edward's eyes reflected genuine happiness._ _

__Roy had manipulated their feelings, but the outcome was that she saw her son happy again. It didn't make any sense. How was Edward happy with this, he shouldn't be happy with Roy._ _

__It was beyond confusing. Edward was happy, and Trisha was thankful she could finally see her boy happy again. But Roy caused this, Roy put these ideas in Edward's mind, making him believe he should be happy like this. Edward shouldn't be happy like this now, but it was wrong for Trisha to wish for her son's misery._ _

__Roy Mustang was an awful, horrible person and child groomer. But that wasn't how Edward saw things. To Edward, his relationship was something sweet and comforting._ _

__Everything was bitter-sweet, and then it wasn't._ _


	11. Perfection

Trisha's funeral was even smaller than their wedding. Her death had confirmed to Roy that Trisha had no family. Roy became the boy's legal guardian and inherited everything Trisha left behind. Roy was lucky that Trisha had never gotten the chance to write him out of her will. 

The boys were all his now, he could do whatever he wanted with them. Roy wanted them all to himself, he'd never be without them. He couldn't be without them. 

They were Roy's world, his light. They kept the flame inside of him alive. 

While Roy was overjoyed to finally have Trisha out of his way, the boys were obviously struggling to cope. He did his best to be there for them, he said and did all the things he wished people would have done to help him when he lost Riza, and Hughes. 

He was there for them when no one else was. His comfort was probably one of the most genuine things he had to offer them. There was no alternative motive, it wasn't even driven by his love for the boys. He saw two broken souls and offered the comfort he wished he had, no one should ever have to go through a loss like that alone. 

Edward's nightmares seemed to become more and more frequent. He was sleeping with Roy almost every night. Tonight wasn't any different, Edward had gone to Roy's room for comfort after a series of nightmares. 

Roy sat up in his bed, stroking Edward's hair slowly. 

"I love you Edward, nothing bad is going to happen, I'm not going anywhere. I'll protect you." He spoke quietly as Edward cried into Roy's shirt. 

"I don't want you to replace me." Edward looked up at Roy. The fear had seemingly come out of nowhere, for Roy, was that what the contents of his nightmares involved. 

"I'm never going to replace you Edward, you're my special boy." He ran his hand along Edward's cheek, slowly moving it up and back through his hair. 

"But you have Al." 

"Edward, can I tell you a secret," Roy gently held Edward's face so that the boy would be looking at him. "You're my favourite Edward, I love you." 

It wasn't exactly a lie, but Roy wasn't sure how truthful it was either. He didn't have a favourite boy, he loved them both. It was equal. 

But Edward was smiling, a few tears still threatened to fall but he was smiling. Then suddenly their mouths had collided. Edward pounced on Roy, and Roy accepted this. 

Roy had wanted to move further for a while now. He wanted every inch of the boys and he planned to touch every bit of skin no matter what it took. He craved them, he wanted to feel all of them. 

Roy's hands began to wander, feeling up the small boy on his lap. He felt fragile, like Roy could break him at any moment. Roy didn't dare to break him, he couldn't ruin something so perfect, so he held himself back. 

Edward began to copy Roy's actions, slowly feeling down Roy's chest and abs before bringing his hands back up his side. Roy couldn't help but shiver a little bit. 

Roy didn't need to ask for anything, the look in Edward's eyes was clear. He'd waited so long for this, Edward would become his, his innocence would belong to Roy. 

He rushed to unbutton his own shirt, and quickly began to remove Edward's clothing alongside his own. It was a sight that he'd never be able to get over, Edward was amazing and Roy could admire him for hours. All the scars, and imperfections made Edward so unbelievably perfect, Roy could hardly believe that now the boy would be all his. 

While it wasn't the first time Roy had seen Edward naked, it would be the first time Edward would properly see Roy without a shirt on. Roy knew he was attractive, and he found it cute how Edward admired him. There were some things Roy didn't like about himself however, war scars, his feelings towards himself influenced how he needed to make sure Edward knew how much he was loved despite his flaws. Roy didn't have anyone to do that for him. 

Edward felt up and down Roy's chest, guided by Roy's own hands. Roy tensed up slightly when he bumped the dog tags that hung from his neck. It was a sentimental reminder of what used to be, both his own and Hughes' old dog tags hanging from the same chain. Edward and Alphonse were perfect, but the memory of Hughes was what drove him to seek their perfection and hold it tightly in his grasp. 

There was no doubt that this would be the first time Edward would have encountered any sort of penetrative sex. Outside of Roy's touch and mouth, both Edward and Alphonse would have never experienced anything quite like this. 

Roy knew how much it hurt to be on the receiving end, it actually made him hesitant. He wanted this so bad, he wanted to destroy Edward underneath him so bad. The pleasure he'd feel from tearing into Edward and destroying him, it was a fantasy that kept him awake at night. He couldn't though, he couldn't bear to corrupt Edward through pain. 

Roy took things slow at first, no matter how badly he wanted to destroy Edward he forced himself to hold back. He started with a few fingers, helping loosen him up. Roy was worried, Edward was so much smaller than him, he didn't want the boy's first time to be unpleasant. In his experience, things hurt even when you were with someone the same size as you, having someone so much more fragile and delicate underneath him was worrying. But Roy needed Edward, and the sounds he made were so tempting. 

"You're such a good boy Edward," Roy soothed him as he entered slowly. As expected Edward was in pain, and making it clear, Roy did his best to calm him. 

"You're so beautiful Edward, every inch of you is perfect." He ran his hand down his leg, making a point that he loved Edward even if he was an amputee. It was hard to tell how Edward had responded really since he continued to squirm in pain. 

Roy started slow, trying his best to make sure things weren't too painful for Edward but he could only hold back so much. Roy needed to feel all of Edward against all of him. 

As Roy began to speed up, his cares and worries seemed to lessen. He lost himself in the pleasure. Thrusting in and out of Edward quickly, drowning in the noise that came from Edward. It was different from his usual moans, these were a lot more desperate, as if he was begging Roy for more without words. 

There was blood but that didn't slow Roy down in the moment, he was too caught up on the way Edward felt around his cock. It was too good, too perfect. Roy couldn't hold himself back. He wanted to preserve and live in this moment forever. A small bubble where only he and his boys could exist, locked in eternal pleasure. Edward was perfect and Roy made sure he knew that. 

When Roy came it was just as messy and desperate as the sex. He was so caught up in his own pleasure that he hadn't noticed that towards the end, Edward had lost consciousness. 

Roy had been too much for the young boy to handle. The pain mixed with the pleasure all at once was too much for Edward, he'd fainted minutes before Roy came. 

Everything in Roy's mind was hazy and clear at the same time. He laid down next to the boy and wrapped his arms around him. He felt the need to protect Edward, even if he didn't know what he was protecting the boy from. 

The answer was clear but Roy didn't want to acknowledge it. He was protecting Edward from himself. The flames that the boys fueled that felt as if one small step would make them explode out of control. 

Now though, Roy just enjoyed the moment he had. Holding Edward and wrapping a blanket around them both. 

Edward made it known he was conscious again by cuddling further into Roy's chest. Roy loved Edward and he wanted that love to be eternal. He wanted Edward to be his always, to know that they would always be connected. He'd need to find something else suitable for Alphonse but he knew what he wanted to give Edward in that moment. 

"I'd like to give you something Edward." 

He sat up more and Edward followed, a confused look on his face. 

Roy was careful, taking the tags from around his neck and placing them around Edward's. 

"I love you Edward, I want you to always wear those. I want you to have them so you know I'll always love you."


	12. Put on a Show

Roy avoided his desires to be overly sexual with the boys. He loved them equally but he'd treated Edward as if he was favoured. Roy needed to step back, make sure things were equal between the two boys, but he also needed them both to believe they were the favourite. 

He had given Edward his old dog tags as a symbol of his love, and he was working on something he could give to Alphonse that would be equally as significant. 

Roy was sitting in the living room with the boys. He was reading a medical textbook for no reason other than it's something he hadn't read yet out of Hohenhiem's collection, and the boys were playing a card game together. Things were calm, at least until the boy's mumbling stopped and they both looked at Roy. 

Roy knew something devious was about to happen, he could see it in their eyes. Edward was the one to speak as both of them crawled closer. 

"Roy, can we come into town with you." There was a mock begging tone to his voice. 

Roy typically didn't like to take the boys into town, he preferred to take them out on special occasions. He was also paranoid, if anyone saw them together too much they might get suspicious. No one could know about them, he couldn't risk anyone catching on. That's why he kept the boys sheltered away at home and never allowed visitors. 

"We wanna go get milkshakes." Alphonse pleased with his voice and eyes. 

Both boys moved in closer, leaning against his legs. Edward was stroking his inner thigh and Alphonse was moving his hands slowly up Roy’s side and underneath his shirt. Roy was too pent up to deal with this, but he felt too guilty if he fucked them right now. He sighed and went with the first solution to his problem that he could think of.

“Okay, I’ll take you out, but first, Edward, why don’t you show Alphonse what we did the other day.” He held out a hand and let Edward lean into his touch like a puppy. “Put on a show for me.”

Edward nodded and moved away, dragging Alphonse back with him somewhere more comfortable on the carpet. They were both a little awkward at first, especially since Alphonse was unsure of what exactly they were doing, but all the awkwardness that hung in the air melted away when Ed kissed him.

That alone was a wonderful sight to Roy, it was beautiful and exciting. Both of his boys doing this for him, sharing intimacy with each other. He couldn’t help but smile seeing it, it was perfect. His heart began to beat faster, why hadn’t he done this sooner. He loved to see the brothers together but somehow he’d never thought to watch them being so close.

Edward was the first to strip himself, hesitating a bit with his pants and socks. Edward was comfortable with his leg around both Roy and Alphonse but he still had a tendency to hesitate, that’s where Roy always came to encourage him.

“It’s alright Edward, there's nothing to be ashamed of, you’re beautiful.”

When Alphonse didn’t follow Edward’s lead he got a little more aggressive, leaning on Alphonse and taking his clothes off for him. It was what Roy wanted, and they would do anything Roy wanted from them. They loved Roy and wanted to please him.

Edward was inexperienced, the first time he’d ever done something like this was with Roy, when he was on the receiving end. He didn’t know how to be dominant, other than when he teased Roy to get something from him. 

Edward wasn’t a dominant person and this was clear for the way he tried to mimic Roy’s touches. It ended up making Alphonse annoyed enough to take the lead, using his weight to pin Edward to the ground underneath him. Alphonse was better at mimicking how Roy had touched them previously, ghosting his hands lightly over all the sensitive areas they could find. 

Alphonse didn’t know the exact nature of what Roy wanted to see from them but he did his best to guess. He kissed Edward hard, and began to stroke both their cocks together with his free hand, it was a little difficult for Alphonse to hold them both in just one hand but it didn’t look like he was going to struggle. Edward squirmed underneath him trying to get his freedom back but also moaned like he wanted more.

Sure it wasn’t what Roy wanted them to do, but it certainly was hot to watch. He unzipped his own pants to stroke himself, it was getting painful to keep his erection suppressed any longer. They just needed some encouragement and a push in the right direction. “I want you to fuck him Alphonse, for you to thrust your dick in Edward’s ass.”

Roy knew it would hurt for Ed, at least when he had sex with Ed they had lube to make things easier, this time Roy wanted to see what would happen between them. He also imagined that Edward would still be sore, if the fact that he was still limping slightly was any indication. At the same time it couldn’t be as bad as Roy, Alphonse’s cock was much smaller than his and should have an easier time moving in and out of Edward.

Roy watched carefully, savouring every moment. Ed's screams and Al's moans filled the air like music to Roy's ears. He would have loved to take Alphonse's virginity himself, but this was almost just as good.

Roy jerked himself off fast and messily, he knew that he could last a lot longer than both brothers and didn't want to go to the store in town unsatisfied and frustrated. He tried to make himself cum before the boys did. The sight he saw in front of him was good motivation, it would be impossible to hold himself back while watching this.

Alphonse's thrusts lacked any sort or rhythm or coordination, this was the first time he'd done this after all. He focused more on what made him feel good rather than the enjoyment of both him and Edward. He didn't know really what else to do. 

By the time all three of them had cum, Edward and Alphonse looked like a pile of mess on the floor. Both of them were panting and sweating. It was cute. 

Roy cleaned himself up and stood up, heading towards the bathroom. He turned on the bath water before returning to the living room. 

"You two boys aren't in any state to be seen going out. I've put the bath on for you to get cleaned up while I head out."

They looked disappointed briefly but nodded and began to gather their clothes that had been abandoned.

And with that, Roy left them alone to take care of themselves. He would return later, he always did. He could never really leave his boys.


	13. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's a bit shorter

Edward was loud during sex, he screamed with nor control. Alphonse on the other hand had much softer moans that tended to keep in time with Roy's thrust. It was a nice contrast. 

Roy finally felt like he had something appropriate to give to Alphonse, something equivalent to what he'd given Edward. He felt comfortable fucking Alphonse now and it was good. 

Having sex with Alphonse was a completely different experience than being with Edward, but equally as pleasurable. Alphonse always seemed to be the more mature one and that was reflected in his actions during sex. 

Roy found it harder to cum for Alphonse though, Edward's unpredictability gave Roy a certain edge he needed. It was all about their innocence. The more mature Alphonse seemed to lack the same sexual innocence that Edward had. It was always Alphonse who led Roy when they were together, where Edward would sit back and let his brother do what he wanted. 

Alphonse tended to be more possessive. Edward was insecure but Alphonse would actively seek Roy out. 

One thing both boys had in common was how messy they were when they came. It was blissful, watching the composed Alphonse melt underneath him. 

Roy cleaned the boy up while he came down from his high. It was a beautiful sight, Alphonse was beautiful. 

"You're such a good boy for me." Roy offered praise alongside a kiss on the cheek. It made Alphonse squirm and smile. 

A storm that had been brewing outside made its presence known when the lights began to flicker. It was a startling reminder of the time and how late at night it was. Edward was asleep and unaware of the storm about to hit. 

Roy got up to fetch a candle and his lighter, lighting it and setting it beside his bed. Alphonse was sitting up, looking like he had something to say. 

"Is something bothering you?" Roy sat down next to him and Alphonse almost immediately crawled into his lap, straddling him. 

"Why does Edward have your dog tags?" It was inevitable that Alphonse would find out, especially since Edward never parted from them. 

"I wanted to give you both something to hold onto, so you'd know I'll always love you. I'm sorry it took me time to get something for you." Roy leaned across the bed to his discarded jacket and began to fumble through the pockets. 

He held the item tightly in his hands but not tight enough to break it. He was careful, he didn't want to accidentally break it, it was Alphonse's and he didn't want to damage that bond. 

"Here." Roy began to put a necklace around Alphonse's neck, the same way he placed his tags on Edward. This time though, what he attached to the boy's neck was a chain that was attached to a small vial of blood, Roy's blood. 

When Roy had given Edward his old tags, he'd given Edward a part of himself, the next equivalent thing he had to offer was something more literal. It was a part of himself that Alphonse could hold onto forever and know that Roy loved him. 

"Is something wrong?" Alphonse still looked like he was bothered by something. He leaned into Roy, nuzzling his chest. 

"No, thank you. I love the gift, but," there was hesitation. It pulled at Roy's paranoia, when someone hesitated in his life it was followed by tragedy. He didn't want to lose Alphonse. "I don't like sharing you with brother." 

"Hm, why's that." Roy was curious so he played into Alphonse's feelings, fishing for answers. 

"I want you to myself." His voice was firm without needing to yell. "I love you, and I can give you everything you want." 

"Then why don't you take me for yourself." Roy whispered into the boy's ear. There was no need to, no one else could have heard, Edward could still be heard snoring in the other room, but presenting it as something secret and taboo just made Roy excited in a way that everything else failed to do. 

"Because you make brother happy, I don't want him to be upset again." Alphonse shifted uncomfortable on Roy's lap, suddenly all the sexual tension became depressive tension. 

"You're a good boy Alphonse, you know I love you." He ran a hand through Alphonse's hair, ruffling it slightly. He hesitated, a sign of disaster. He'd lied once already, how bad could another lie be. "Do you want to know a secret?" 

Alphonse looked up at him with big curious eyes. The specks of gold hidden behind darker hues seemed to glow in the candle light. Lightning crashed outside, briefly lighting up the room, making all their insecurities visible for just a second. 

"You've always been my favourite Alphonse." Roy Mustang was a liar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	14. The Beginning of the End

Roy Mustang was a lot of things, for one he was cautious. He never left any loose ends lying around to be tripped on. He was careful, making sure no one could find him. Or find out about him. 

It wasn't odd that Roy kept to himself, he was a working man and single father. He was busy, no one questioned it when he brushed their invitations off. Keeping Edward and Alphonse isolated was a lot harder. School was unavoidable but outside of that Roy kept strict rules about when and where they could go. If anyone asked Roy would come up with some excuse about them preferring to stay home due to Edward's leg. The boys were happy to spend their time with Roy anyway. 

When there was a knock on the door in the middle of a winter snow storm, Roy was shocked and concerned. Suddenly everything was quiet, the crackling of the fire and harsh winds outside were drowned out by a thumping that had the same rhythm as his heart beat. His container was cracking. 

At the door was a man much taller than himself with long blond hair and the same golden eyes that Roy adored. His heart sank. 

"Can I help you sir?" Roy did what he did best and out on the charm. 

"My name is Van Hohenhiem, I was Trisha's ex-husband and Edward and Alphonse's father. May I come in?" Of course Roy's fears had to be true. 

Hoenhiem was the only loose end that Roy couldn't clean up. Trisha never talked about him, the boys barely remembered him, he couldn't exactly ask around. He assumed that he'd never become a problem. Now he was here and Roy didn't know what to say, he couldn't exactly tell the man to leave and never come back. 

"Of course, you must be cold." Roy kept the charm active but he was slipping under the pressure. 

Hohenhiem closed the door behind him and glanced around. "Nothing's changed since I left." He commented to himself before heading towards the living room. 

"Would you like some tea, I was just about to make some."

“Sure, thank you.” He was looking above the fireplace at the pictures that sat there. Roy never changed any of the pictures that Trisha had placed there. Most of them were just Trisha and the boys, but there were a few of Roy around, mainly ones taken during their wedding. Roy’s favourites were the ones where he was posed with the boys, just knowing the secrets those images held made him grin. Hohenheim was looking at one of Trisha with both children as toddlers.

They were silent until Roy brought out the tea. “He was always smiling. I’m glad she found you before she passed, you look happy together.”

The statement was about Trisha, clearly. Roy smiled. “She always tried to be happy for the boys, even when things got worse.” Even through the layers of charm Roy presented, it felt wrong. He never loved Trisha, she was an obstacle to him, to talk about her fondly left a sour taste in his mouth. He needed to play the part of a loving husband, a role he despised. 

“Excuse me, I have to check on the cake I have in the oven.” It was mostly an excuse for Roy to get away for a moment and compose himself. He wanted to scream, he didn’t know how to interact with this man. At least his excuse wasn’t a complete lie, like many other things he had said over the past two years. He quickly checked on the chocolate cake he had woken up at 5am to bake for Edward’s birthday. Thank god both boys were still asleep.

Roy would be doomed if either of them decided to wake up earlier than usual. It had been so long since he’d made this much effort to hide himself, to control the fire in his heart, he’s gotten too comfortable with his boys. Roy was slipping.

He chuckled to himself as he returned to the living room, a fake gesture to play the situation off as amusing. “Sorry I’ve been busy all morning, It’s Edward’s birthday, he'll be sixteen now and I want to make the day special for him.” Surely that wasn’t too much to reveal, birthdays were meant to be a celebration after all. 

“I suppose it is.” Hohenheim commented to himself between sips of tea. It pissed Roy off more than it should have. This man was their father and didn’t even care about them. Those boys were perfection incarnate and he couldn’t see that, he didn’t appreciate how amazing they were. “I’m sorry for intruding on such an important day.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you come? I honestly never expected to meet you.” Roy smiled, pretending it was a friendly conversation while he drank his tea. It wasn’t friendly though, Roy wanted nothing more than to kick the man out back into the snowstorm. 

“I heard about Trisha’s death and decided to finally pay her new husband a visit and apologise.” Roy felt like there was something being hidden from him, but he was paranoid. He knew he had paranoia and it plagued every interaction he had with people.

“I appreciate the gesture.” More lies that made him feel like someone was dragging a knife along his tongue. How much longer until it was cut out.

Roy’s heart sank as he began to hear noise, then foot-steps. And a voice that came too close.

"Rooooy! How come the house smells so nice!" Edward was teasing, this was clear from his tone. His heart stopped when he stood in the doorway, seeing what he was wearing.

Edward stood there, naked other than one of Roy's shirts that was too big on him and just enough to cover everything. Edward was mortified when he noticed the other man in the room. Did he recognise his father, what age did Trisha say he left them at? Roy couldn't blame Edward for coming downstairs dressed the way he was, they hadn't had any guests for a while now. There's no way he could have anticipated a guest, or for that guest to be his father.

Roy could feel himself getting hard from the sight, but he knew that everything was about to come crashing down. The passion that raged inside of him escaped, seeped out for everyone to see.

"You bastard! How dare you come back here!" Edward punched the door frame before running off looking like he was about to cry. Roy felt bad for him, he must have felt humiliated. There was no explaining himself out of this situation, Edward made their relationship clear to anyone who happened to hear.

"Ah, I think I have the answers to what I came here to ask." Things were coming crashing down quickly, like a collapsing building Roy was stuck inside.

"And what might that be?" Roy stood up, the charm was gone. He was cold. His darkest secrets were being untangled and exposed, out in the air, outside of his own mind. He had no more reason to fake his charm.

"I'm glad we're both done with the act Mr. Mustang. I study medicine you see, and when I heard Trisha had passed away I got suspicious, I know that with her condition she could have easily lived a few more years with the right medication."

"Are you calling me a murderer." Roy was tense, he needed Trisha out of the way. He wasn't a killer, well he was but only with the military, he didn't kill Trisha, he just took advantage of an opportunity given to him.

"I know you're an ex-soldier Mr. Mustang, that title alone comes with a body count." He took his glasses off and cleaned them with his sleeve. "I don't think you're suitable to be a father."

Roy was expecting their conversation to eventually lead to this. "Legally I'm their father and I have the right to decide what happens to them." 

"You do now but if the court were to learn about your relationship with them, it wouldn't be difficult to have custody handed over to me." Hohenhiem was also standing now. This wasn't a fight Roy could win physically, he may have been stronger than he looked but Hohenhiem was still a lot bigger than he was. What he would give to land a good punch oh him though.

"As if the court would believe you! You're just a sleaze-bag that walked out on them before they could even remember!" Roy was angry, flames took over him.

He was not about to lose his boys. No one else could care for them the way he did. He loved them more than anything, they were his! They belonged to Roy! No one else could ever touch them.

Roy couldn't bear to lose them, to be alone again. He couldn't handle the nights alone. The nightmares that chased him. Those boys got him through the day, helped keep him grounded. He needed them in his life. He loved them, the way he loved Riza, and the way he loved Hughes. He couldn't stand to lose more people that he loved.

"I know who you are Roy Mustang, and I have enough evidence against you. Even if they didn't believe me, the moment they saw that you got discharged for being a faggot, they won't want to hear any of your defenses." 

It wasn’t Roy who punched Hohenheim, surprisingly. It was Edward, who had returned with more appropriate clothing. Hohenheim stumbled backwards a bit, almost falling over the armchair behind him.

“Fucking bastard! No one wants you here! We’re not going anywhere with you! We love Roy! Be glad I didn’t kick you!”

Hohenheim tried to rest his hand on top of Edward’s head, a pathetic attempt at comfort. It didn’t end well, it just led to Edward acting on his threat, colliding his mostly metal prosthetic with Hohenheim’s crotch. “Don’t touch me! There’s more where that came from old man!”

There was a brief moment where the only sound in the room was pain and Hohenheim took a seat.He sighed and chose to ignore Edward, trying to act like he wasn’t holding back screams. It would have been nice to hear the man scream, then Roy could say he’d heard the whole family screaming at him. “Listen Roy, if you know what’s good for you. If you don’t want me to get the police involved, then you’re going to let the children come with me.”

Roy was backed into a corner that was collapsing around him far too quickly. What choice did he have, to fight but end up with the same result. Surrounded by sirens and locked away, never able to see his loves again. He couldn’t stand the heartbreak. Roy Mustang was a disgusting, broken old man, and he’d reached the end of the road.

He walked over to Edward and kneeled down to whisper in his ear quiet enough so that Hohenheim couldn’t hear him.

“Promise me that you and Al will find a way to run away and come back to me.” Roy had admitted defeat. Without waiting for an answer, he pulled Edward into a hug that lasted for far too long, one final taunt. His affection for the boys on full display for anyone to watch. He would have leaned in to kiss Edward if he wasn’t dragged backwards by Hohenheim.

Roy glared at the man and walked away with his broken pride struggling to stay in one piece. He left to his bedroom and watched the rest of the interaction from his window.

Edward kicked and screamed as he was dragged outside to Hohenheim’s car. It was safe to say he had his fair share of bruises caused by Edward’s hands. Alphonse was a lot more calm, keeping his troubles inside.

And Roy watched them as they left. He had nothing left but the rubble of a broken heart. Roy Mustang was many things, but he was not someone who knew how to deal with loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it all comes crashing down


	15. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was certainly a journey to write, thank you again to everyone who encouraged me!

Everything has a start and an end. In Roy Mustang’s case the beginning of the end was two blonde boys with golden eyes. They were perfect reminders of what he’d once lost. Two perfect boys that he loved and now were gone. He’d lost them and he likely would never see their faces again. It hurt.

There was a fire inside Roy’s heart that kept his passion raging. He’d lost control of it. Without his boy’s he was lost, everything he did to stop himself from releasing destruction was lost.

He no longer cared, bottles were shattered, pictures were pulled down and the floor was littered with papers. He couldn’t stand feeling like this, he didn’t know how to deal with it. Roy Mustang pretended to be a lot of things but in reality he was just a destructive liar with an obsession.

He was angry, he destroyed Hohenheim’s study leaving a pile of kindling made up of papers and books soaked with alcohol behind him as he sat at Hohenheim’s desk. The candle in front of him burned slowly as he admired the last picture he had of himself with the boys. In Roy’s eyes it was genuine, the smiles, the joy he felt with them, it was never a mask. Edward and Alphonse had made Roy happy for a brief moment before the tragedy of loss that followed him finally caught up.

Most of the alcohol was on the floor but a significant amount was fermenting in Roy’s system. Not enough to feel numb, just enough to give himself courage. He was a coward without it. 

He didn’t care if the hot wax burned as he held the candle and threw it behind him. He waited until the heat behind him was significant enough to be felt, soon enough the flames would spread to the rest of the house, destroying everything in their path. Roy’s feelings, his internal flame was becoming real, on display. He had nothing left to hide, no reason to keep it inside of himself.

In one hand he held the photo that he admired dearly, one last reminder. He wanted to remember them fondly. In his other hand would be the end of him. His hands were shaking, he was a coward but he forced himself. He didn’t want to feel all this pain anymore, it was time to let himself bleed and let himself be claimed by the fire. Maybe in the afterlife he could find Hughes, or Riza again. 

It was doubtful, everything was just dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest there's a lot in here that I'm not completely satisfied with, I'll probably rewrite this someday to be honest. Thank you all for reading!


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